‘You Hurt My Feelings’ - Sundance

You Hurt My Feelings is a critique of toxic positivity featuring a fun ensemble that balances the comedy and drama about the need for honesty in our everyday lives to keep us well and sane.

After years together and a grown son Beth and Don have a picture-perfect marriage full of affection. At this stage of their lives, they are both at a roadblock with their careers, Beth is struggling with finishing her latest novel while Don is neglecting a connection with his clients. Beth gives Don her novel to read, but she overhears him saying his honest opinion of her work making her question their union.

Centering her premise around the relationship between Don and Beth as well as the people in their lives, director Nicole Holofcener explores how these little lies meant to be encouraging actually have the opposite effect on our closest relationships. There is no dark force waiting to reveal itself in a later act, it is about the every day that humans must deal with. In all of her movies, Holofcener takes a mundane idea to closely examine without it getting too dramatic. She provides rich context with multiple perspectives that are closely connected within a small pocket of the world. Often in these low-key films, there is an absurdist idea played up that removes the groundedness of the film’s world, but Holofcener is focused on older people using little lies and the correct situations in which they should be utilized.

Holofcener perfectly captures the married couple’s life which can be best described as them reliving the same routine every day. It is her ability to quickly set up this world and allow the audience to live with the characters before she throws off the entire dynamic with the truth that is impactful to her core themes. Even though these lies are small they have the power to change the perspective of someone’s world. Holofcener is a master of depicting humanistic moments that feel truthful onscreen.