Bullet Train: The Flanderization of Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt follows up his Academy Award-winning performance of Cliff Booth as a privately contracted operative, Ladybug, with the simple mission of stealing a briefcase on a bullet train to Kyoto. Sounds simple, but its choppy Tarantino editing and the drawn-out plot leave you wanting to get off this train ASAP.

Adapted from the Kotaro Isaka 2010 novel, the story follows a group of hired killers with interwoven stories who are all set on securing that silver briefcase. Among this ensemble of the killer are Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry as brothers Lemon and Tangerine. The two have an undeniable chemistry that would work better in a press tour than in an action film. The only developed female character on board is Joey King’s The Prince whose survival tactic is to pose as a naive schoolgirl. Some characters are barely on screen for 5 minutes but are heavily promoted. There is not enough time to care about any of these people.

The film excels in action sequences which are its only redeeming quality. The setting of a train is one of the film’s flaws. Train action sequences have a history of working in film but here it feels so limiting in what could’ve been achieved. At a point, the story gets repetitive of itself and it is a bit distracting to try to figure out the entire geography of the train and where our characters are all at. There is only so much they can do with the combat choreography in a metal box.

The overall tone dates this movie so badly. It feels like it should’ve come out in the late 2010s, not 2022. The story is centered around the idea of luck in relation to Brad Pitt’s Ladybug and positions him as the savior of this story. Every challenge is built up and then quickly extinguished through some type of coincidence. It puts the story on a predictable path that lowers the stakes as it continues on. The humor never lands either, it feels a bit forced.

Watching Brad Pitt completely flanderize into a human golden retriever who only recites self-help sayings for 2 hours and 6 minutes was insufferable. Brad Pitt can do comedy as seen in Burn After reading but his entire performance here just feels odd. His coolness doesn’t save him and while it can be acknowledged that maybe he just wants to have fun in a role; it just feels very out of character from what we have seen from him before.